My Alzheimer's Journey
Part 126 - END ALZ Day
Today we recognize END ALZ Day. A day when we show appreciation to the thousands of research scientists working tirelessly to find a cure for Alzheimer’s disease. This is a day to focus on helping those with Alzheimer’s and the caregivers with the challenge of making certain their family member or client is safe and cared for. Of course, it is also an important fund-raising day for the Alzheimer’s Association.
For me, END ELZ Day is also a time to reflect on my Alzheimer’s journey. A primary objective of my blog is to help those walking a path similar to mine. I share my personal experiences, so others can learn from my Alzheimer’s journey. Not every journey is the same, take from my experience the elements that will ease your pain.
Roughly six months ago, I was diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s. The moment I received the diagnosis message from Duke Neurology is etched in my mind. It is ironic that the moment I am officially told my memory is slipping away, never to return, I remember the exact time and place I received the message.
The first few months after my diagnosis were a bit of a blur. Linda and I were overwhelmed with the minutiae of our lives.
We worried about our business. Can we somehow keep it going with a manager or a partner? The partner we found didn’t work out. We were miles apart in the critical aspects of operating a business. That failed decision was indicative of the pressure we felt to make rapid decisions.
I was sad, depressed, and worried. All the joy evaporated from my life.
My wife and our cats never gave up on me. Linda hid her worried feelings and supported me every step of the way. Lola, Bella, and Big Bit sensed something was wrong. We became a stronger family.
As we made the difficult calls to our family and friends, my fear transformed into hope and contentment. Everyone responded by asking, “What can I do to help?”
During this transition period, I trusted our employees to wrap up current projects and prepare the company for closure and liquidation. Later, I learned that mistakes were made on several projects and some tools and equipment went missing. This hurt me more than I can express. My team disappointed me and I disappointed my clients.
Linda and I shouldered our plan to rent an apartment near Duke Health. We knew I had to begin treatment soon. Where possible, friends and old connections were asked to help. One huge help was TROSA; as a former member of the Board of Directors, they extended a significant discount to move us.
Throughout the craziness, busyness, and sleepless nights, I struggled with depression and worry. My memory and ability to write complete sentences were deteriorating.
Today, we are settled into our Chapel Hill apartment. My Alzheimer’s treatment is progressing as expected. My Duke Health team is an instrument of grace and healing. Linda is being treated for several health issues related to her breast cancer surgery two years ago. Our cats continue to be supportive, loving, and cuter than I can describe.
I have become an advocate for Alzheimer’s Awareness. My plan is to use my presentation and writing skills to help others suffering from Alzheimer’s. I spend most of my waking hours each day studying, reading, and writing. Linda proofreads my writing so you can understand it.
We continue to struggle financially. Hopefully, our South Carolina home will sell soon. We are working hard to develop a few sources of income.
Throughout it all, I have lost all feelings of joy. Maybe it will return one day. I hope so.
My Alzheimer’s symptoms have worsened. I am often confused. I have frequent chills and trembling. I am no longer able to drive. My short term memory is fading fast.
Without Linda, the cats, family, friends, my Duke Health team, and the many people who support us with thoughts, prayers, and gifts, I don’t know how I would keep waking up each new day.
I have started reading Joyful, Anyway written by Kate Bowler. I believe her words will help me find the joy missing in my life.
I accept that my journey is a long goodbye. I want the journey to be meaningful, though.
As we recognize END ALZ day, I am extremely appreciative of the brilliant scientists, physicians, and executives working to find better Alzheimer’s treatments, and eventually, a cure for this horrible disease.
Thank you for supporting me. “Grateful” is an understatement.
My Alzheimer’s Journey does not offer paid subscriptions. Instead, we depend on subscriber donations to cover the cost of research and writing. Additionally, all donations support my direct and indirect Alzheimer’s treatment expenses. Thank you.
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