My Alzheimer's Journey
Part 54 - Difficult Week
As I write this post, Big Bit is in the same spot as the above photo. I managed to position my laptop awkwardly beside me on the bed. Big Bit is my constant companion. Please, no comments about her fat ass. It is a sensitive subject.
This has been a difficult week for me.
Some of my symptoms have worsened, and a few new challenges have arrived to bother me. Most troubling is a disturbance of my normal sleep pattern. It has been more than a year since I could sleep throughout the night. Yet, I did sleep. Since early this week, my sleep pattern has gone straight into the toilet. I usually sleep from about nine until midnight. After that, I am generally wide awake. If I am lucky, I fall asleep about six in the morning and I sleep for several hours.
Other nights (like tonight), I can’t get to sleep at all.
I have tried everything. No reading on my phone, no television, no laptop, etc. I still can’t sleep. In fact, if I do not have the distraction of something to read or watch, I start thinking about my future - how likely limited it is. Those thoughts make me sad and depressed. That makes my insomnia worse.
I have started engaging in a few crazy things.
Did you know Netflix has several fireplace channels? Yep. Some even have audio of the logs burning. It is quite relaxing and soothing. As you can see below, Bella and Big Bit enjoy sleeping in front the fire.
My other new obsession is tracking airplane and helicopter flights. I use the ADS-B app. With two Trauma One hospitals within five miles of our home, a few military bases within sixty miles, and RDU airport about six miles away, the air traffic is crazy busy. Especially, helicopters flying at night.
You should see me at three in the morning, tracking helicopters. It has almost reached compulsion status. I will follow a Duke Life flight or a UNC Carolina Air Care flight from take off to landing. I have now started researching the helicopters they utilize. Do you have any questions about the Bell 429 GlobalRanger? Ask me, I likely have the answer.
My obsession is not limited to helicopters, I am deeply curious about fixed-wing aircraft. I look at a commercial flight and I wonder about the passengers. Are they going on vacation? Maybe a business trip? Maybe taking a trip that is sad?
I have discovered many cargo flights. Did you know that BMW has regular flights between Munich, Germany and their South Carolina manufacturing plant? Of course, there are UPS and FedEx flights going into and out of RDU.
Don’t let me get started on private aircraft. I followed a Clemson Flying Club airplane from rural Georgia to Clemson a few nights ago. I had no idea Clemson University has a flying club.
I told you it was an obsession.
Not only do I track aircraft, but I also read a lot when I can’t sleep. Sometimes, my reading is calming and soothing. Other times, it throws me into a rage. I have learned to avoid any topic related to politics.
In addition to my crazy sleepless nights, I have developed a sensitivity to noises, unexpected activity, and almost anything out of the norm These events trigger a reaction that is not very nice. Just ask Linda. This is a new symptom problem.
My overall confusion has worsened. I often wake up unsure where I am.
It could be worse. Much worse.
My Reddit friends tell awfully sad stories about their loved ones suffering with Alzheimer’s disease. I certainly dread my future. I just hope I have a bunch of good years before I can’t track aircraft during the night.
One more thing! Over the past couple of days, we produced a little homemade video explaining our challenging financial situation. As a former video producer and director, this was a fun project. You can watch the video on Go Fund Me, Facebook, X, and a few other social media platforms. Please don’t laugh too much!